Talk About These Things Before The Time Comes
Do your loved ones know what your wishes are if you are in a position to not speak on your own behalf? Those are uncomfortable, but necessary conversations we need to have.
Healthcare
Talk about who you want to act as your healthcare agent and backup healthcare agent. Talk about who else should be consulted on your behalf. Talk about how you would like them to treat situations where you become critically or terminally ill, if you enter a vegetative state, or enter end-stages. Do you want things to progress naturally? Do you want them to try to extend your life as long as possible within medical reason? That’s up to you. These decisions are difficult for someone to make on their own and you could be doing a great service by talking about your wishes ahead of time. They would just be speaking for you, to carry out what you already said you wanted to happen in those situations. Further, you can have the consult or confer with a small group of others, should they need to do that.
Even better, complete a Medical Advance Directive from your state. That way, it’s on record, who you’ve elected to be your healthcare agent and what your specific requests are. Share a copy with your agent to help remind them of the specifics when the time comes.
Funeral
Talk about your funeral, obituary, pictures, and anything else that could make things easier at your time of death. You can even start creating portions of your obituary now. Yes, it’s weird but that’s one less thing your grieving loved ones will have to deal with.
Will and/or Trust
Talk about who the executor or trustee of your estate will be and generally what your wishes are. This should be supported by a Will or a Trust. And while the written document legally may be enough, if you have multiple children or siblings, it could save heartache if people knew in advance what your wishes were. Of course, you should talk in detail to whoever is holding that key role.
Life Insurance
Talk about your life insurance policies, as appropriate. Whose
getting what and for what reason (if any)? Does something need to be paid from those monies (i.e., the funeral, burial, debts, etc.)? Do you want some of that insurance money to pay off your home so you can leave it for your heirs? They need to know that and someone you trust needs to be in position to carry out that wish.
Your Important Papers
Talk about where you keep your important papers (your life insurance policies, your Will, your Trust, your Medical Advance Director, obituary, etc) Someone should know before something happens. They should know it’s in the little fireproof box in the back of the closet, or in the safe under the bed, or in a safe deposit box at ABC bank. If you don’t have these documents together in a secure location, make that a high priority. They should be in a safe place and someone needs to know where.
Who to Talk To
Whoever you talk these things over with, can’t just be your spouse because something could happen to both of you at the same time. You beneficiaries or agent can’t just be your spouse, either- for the same reason. You need one or two others to act as backup and second backup, just in case. Be prayerful and seek counsel on who should hold what roles. Generally, the same person who is beneficiary will not also be your trustee or executor because it could a conflict of interest with respect to equity amongst all beneficiaries. In addition, many times, the beneficiaries will not be as financial literate and savvy as a trustee.
Conclusion
I’m not saying put all your business out there. That could cause confusion in itself. I do recommend that you start to have these conversations with key people at least. Don’t try to cover everything in one sitting, if there’s no reason to believe that you have to do so. You can spread it out over time. Chances are you will have to think about these things yourself and you may have to get your paperwork in place. You might even have to get life insurance, a Will, or a Trust in place.
With all this, things are still going to come up, that you may not have addressed; but you’ll be way ahead of a lot of people if you commit to doing this. Keep things upbeat and positive and try to keep your emotions at bay. This is a necessary piece of business and the bible commands us to be fervent in business.
